I'm not Clone Worthy

Some days just aren’t YOUR DAY. I think today is mine. It started well…I woke up at 6 am as planned but was too sore from curling so I postponed my morning gym workout until after work. I get ready and head out the door for work. I was pretty excited because the temp was supposedly 18 degrees F…..as opposed to the tropical 80+ degrees goin’ on in my apt. I remember my mittens, and my scarf but I thought I’d nix the hat and just wear my hair down. Not a smart idea seeing I had overlooked the “Wind chill 10 degrees……20-30 mph winds” Oops. So my poor ears experienced a very cold and windy mile walk to work.

Getting into work I all of a sudden got very tired, VERY fast and then my body (even after a 30 minute stretch moment) let the soreness sink it. So I’m sitting here….sore and tired. Great. Little work is getting done. But all was good seeing it was just the beginning of the day and I had lunch to look forward too. Not to mention that I was trying out a new Campbells Select soup.

Lunchtime arrives. I’m excited. That was….until I had dropped my soup on the counter/floor/myself. That’s right. I smell of Mexican fajita soup. It’s lovely.

And to top it off………..I read the below when my mood was already in the red; just allowing this to be the cherry on top.

Arthur Caplan , director of the Center for Bioethics at the University of
Pennsylvania , figures up to 40 percent of American consumers are "in play,"
meaning they are willing to try food derived from clones and their offspring.
They're such indiscriminate eaters that they consider "a Slim Jim , a Slurpee,
and pork rinds" a meal, Caplan said. (1/29/07 Boston Globe)

My two cents: Sometimes I think there are people out there who were put on this earth to say stupid things ….. for example………the man above. Clearly he is not a man of science. Cloning is NOT happening for kicks and giggles. It is being done as a way/idea of the future. It’s a faster approach to natural selection in all reality. So when the man is equating the consumer of cloned food that of such a narrow market (i.e. 16-29 male) I would like to point my finger at him and say “Who gave you a degree?”

I'm Dreaming of a White......395

This is tough. I am happy we have snow but also a bit disappointed. I guess a lot of it stems from the fact that I feel like I’m back in MN but in all reality far from. Very few people appreciate winter weather here. It’s sad. I’m also a bit sad over the fact that I’m stuck in an office cube looking out a window at the snow instead of curled up in my chair with a warm cup of tea and clicking away at my laptop while watching the flakes dance down to the ground. I was spoiled.

This time last year I was working from home mostly so the days included me waking up in the dark, throwing on my slippers and put-zing over to my chair by the window. It was a tough life. So I say “Boo to the grown-up version” where I go to work from 8:30 – 5:00…have the hour lunch break, workout/meetings/HH after work and then home to take care of mail and so on before I go to bed. Boring!

That type of lifestyle has left me with little if any time to enjoy the real weather where I can run outside and make snowballs or throw myself into an untouched area to create a snow angel (which I’ve perfected over the years). Nope. Just here with the crabs that grumble under their breath about the traffic and walking in the cold (which, again, 25 degrees F doesn’t count as real cold). I think I may hold a Real Winter Weather Appreciation Class. We can go over the basics such as: snowball making, sledding, walking on snow/ice w/out falling and then the major one……..driving.

People will argue that I’m not a good driver – which is true the weather is great (I’m not good at doing just ONE task at a time so concentrating on just driving is difficult for me). BUT when you add the challenge of snow and ice – I’m there and I’m good at it. This was proven yesterday when I had to drive back from NC through rain, then sleet and then snow. 110 miles away from DC and I was stuck in 3-lane traffic only going a meager 15 mph. It was nuts. The visibility was 95% and the roads were NOT slippery. But people freaked and stayed in their lane – even the fast one – and went very, very slow. By the time (an additional 1.5 hours later) I got to the HOV lane things had sped up. But I didn’t want to risk it so I hopped on the HOV road (that was far from having had a visit from the salt trucks) and sped along at a nice 55 mph. There were only five vehicles in the HOV with me…let’s see, hunh? They were all from Oklahoma, Maryland and Iowa. I felt safe around them knowing that they’ve more than likely experienced snow/ice a few more times than once a year for the past 10 years. It was good and I managed to only get home 2 hours later than planned. Of course that is when the snow stopped falling. Bummer.

p.s. I would like to point out that the snow had stopped at 2 am this morning and all the roads were cleared before rush hour. But yet, there were school closings. Come on people!

City of Wimps

I can't believe this place....it barley drops below 30 degrees and everyone is complaining. Then you add in the idea that there may be flurries...there's not just complaining but also freaking.

What one earth is wrong with everyone?! It's snow. Little white, fluffy stuff that will melt as soon as it hits the pavement here. Oh and boo hoo that you have to put on a jacket and maybe heat up your car a bit. And let's not forget the easy way to get over being cold is just to move faster.....(this may explain why the north is more fast paced than the south).

Really. DC knows squat about real winter weather.

Spinster

The joke of the week is that I'm going to become an old spinster. It basically came from two things...ready a ridiculous fairytale book for my BCB bookclub and then having a dream where I was 85, sitting in a big chair, knitting while watching Dallas and my cat at my feet. It was kinda sad! (mostly because I already like do so of those activities now!). BUT I don't have a cat and I do date people, so I have a feeling someday I'll actually settle down with a man....NOT A CAT. Though my story of the dream seems to be a hit - it drives girls crazy and makes them freak out whereas my buddies (guys) laugh their asses of and try to pick a good cat for me.

Speaking of cats....I SWEAR my camera is like a fricken cat with nine lives. Every time I'm ready to throw it out (pretty sure that's why it's on its deathbed) the damn thing works fine. I look like an idiot though, cause it will work at home and then I take it out and all of a sudden the thing becomes shy and won't even turn on. I HATE IT. You may be wondering why I haven't had it checked out (yes, I got the $60/5 yr warranty on it) but I haven't because you need to call a lovely 800 number, explain to them the issue and then 'send' it in. I'm sorry...but that's just not kosher with me. I like to be right there, asking questions and knowing that they are actually attempting to revive my once great camera (ahem, I think I know why doctors/mechanics/bankers/etc. have problems with me). Regardless....it's an issue, and I'm fed-up with it. It'll probably work tonight but then flip off tomorrow. argh.

And finally....does anyone else wonder where on earth The Ohio State football team was on Monday night? I swear I was watching Florida play some D3 school. By halftime I was too booed out and ended up going to my room, putting it on mute and reading a girly book. Yes, it was THAT bad. Maybe Glen Mason was there giving tips to Tressel. Argh. The only time I bothered to cheer for Ohio State (I may dislike them, but I always cheer for the Big Ten). Just such a disappointment.

Taxi!

I have been absent for a bit for several reasons....A) I'm attempting to spend less time infront of my computer....B) I'm trying to be less bitchy .....and C) I have little time to spend writing lately (maybe because I've been glued to watching bowl games, haha). In all reality its a part of being 'healthier' which I doubt will ever happen, but I will note that my alcohol consumption has dropped dramatically since Dec. 24th!

But needless to say I'm not totally out of your blogger life. Nope, sorry...just can't do that. I'm still me and that means if no one is going to listen to me (in person) rant and rave about nonsense that happens in my "Oh-so-fab" life then the internet will do. The New Year was good. Not great, but what do you expect. New Years is so hyped and rarely wonderful for anyone. Yes, it's a great excuse to get all dressed up and drink a load of alcohol but more than likely you'll be fighting for that moment of luxury with millions of other people.

I decided this year to not spend New Years in DC. Even though it's my first year living I've already celebrated three years ago in DC so that seemed lame. Instead I headed to Greensboro, NC. Now before you go knockin' it I've got a few good reasons why. First of all......the Southern Scuffle was taking place Dec. 29-30. That is a huge college wrestling tournament in which the Golden Gophers participate in. Seeing I'm a HUGE fan and that I will not be able to see them wrestle any other time this year, it was a golden opportunity. Secondly, a friend of mine was having a cocktail party for New Years Eve down there. And thirdly, one of my best DC friends wanted to hang in town with me and do the girl thang and it allowed for us to stay with her cousin. So it all worked out.....kinda.

Yes, we did the girl thing and she got to experience my Wrestling Appreciation Class (a.k.a. CWAC). It is well known amongst my non-wrestling friends. Even though she took the class I still don't think she gets the concept (e.g. she opted to stay home from the finals). But the UNCG wrestlers took me in and even some cheered with me in Gopher spirit. Good times.

So after two full days of wrestling, shopping and watching the Dogs beat the Hokies (yes, I watched Georgia but not my own team for several reasons...though I was happy that we lost and Mr. Mason was fired) we were ready for a night of craziness. Granted when we meant crazy we were thinking gettin silly while maintaining our lady-likeness. For the most part that happened.

The plan was to pre-game at home, get dressed-up for the cocktail party, cab to party then cab to Downtown to meet the guys wherever they were going to be when we got there. It worked for the first half of the night. We pre-gamed (off of wine coolers and wine, shut-up), got a little silly and listened/danced to Jock Jams and Cash then got our pretty little butts into a cab. Arrived at the cocktail party (where friend knew NO ONE and I only 2 peeps) made an entrance, enjoyed the food/drinks and started yet ANOTHER dance party. It's amazing how you can groove to Color Me Bad music!

But things started to turn.....the wrong way.

We decided it was time to meet the boys downtown. So at 10:30 pm we started to call for a cab. By 11 pm NO SUCCESS. Booooo......so a girl at the party said that it was a short walk and gave us directions, kinda. Well here's the deal - we ended up walking over a mile in heels in a town we've never been to before and IN THE RAIN! By the time we got to the bar we were just a tad, ummmm.....grumpy and wet. We paid our cover charge, recieved our beads and spent the next 15 minutes searching for the boys, who of course were about a 1/2 a dozen shots into the night. But we found them, did the countdown and started....yes, you guessed it....another dance party.

The rest of the night was a blur, with pics galore (out of focus of course), more rain and a 'long' cab ride home. But yes, it was worth it....even with the bad hair moment and semi-broken camera.

Watch it Grow

Everyday we are tempted by something - money, materials, food and so on. One of the reasons why I hate December so much is that when you work for a company that focuses on food, you tend to get A LOT of it. Yes, we get much of it thoughout the year, but of course it increases immensely during the holiday season. So when we do get this food (ranging from cheese, meat, speicalty chocolates, foreign confectionaries, etc.) where does it go? Well most would think to the kitchen, but that's not the case. It goes to the counter by my desk. Yes, right in my line of vision. Right now I have an assortment of nuts, cholocate truffles, specialy dark chocolate and a entire line-up of the Hershey holiday gang. I'm thinking of tagging a price on everthing and making a little cash on the side.

It's death because I appreicate fine foods such as these from far away places, but yet I need to hold back. As much as I love things growing (like my bank account or our GDP) I'm not a fan of a growing ass. So how do I rid of my temptations? Whenever I think of eating the food I instead bring it over to the President and force him to have something or I discretly pick out a piece and randomly throw it away. This way I don't eat anything but yet I rid of it faster. Clever yes, does it really work....eh.....sometimes. I do have some weak moments when my arm overtakes me and let's me take a bite. Horrible and disgusting, I know. I can't wait for the season to be done with.

*******

There are just some things in life that must be shared.......and this is one of them. Snarkywood is a small obession of mine. It's basically a blog-like site that posts photos of a person/persons and 'snarks' on them. It's pure genius and makes me laugh so hard that I must read it at home (afraid of getting fired). This last post was by far one of my favorite. Topic: Food Network Idols. Nice to know that they feel the same as me when it comes to Sandra Lee and her "semi-drunk" show and Rachael "I can't say Extra Virgin Olive Oil" Ray. Read it. Don't be afraid to laugh because really, it's okay.....only a million other Food Network addicts feel the same as you.

DC Sleeps Tonight

I'm back and it feels good... I will say that with each trip to MN I take the less and less excited I am to go there. Not because I don't like MN, it's just that I'm settled into my ways and life in DC and hate for it to be interrupted; hence me refusing to pack until an hour before the flight.

Anyway..Christmas is done. Yay. I'm happy for the holiday for the true meaning of it but like Charlie Brown I get sick of the 'commercialism' of it all. Although, unlike Charlie Brown I don't go out and get a scrappy tree, I instead decorated less, spent more time with those I actually like and did everything on the minimal level. It was nice, 'cept my minimalist view didn't coincide with my mom's. Now first of all....I have a kickass mom, but she is a little too much like Chevy Chase in the movie National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. She tries to do EVERYTHING and gets all mushy. Two things I can't deal with well. But I lived through it....thank God.

I am disappointed though in a few things during my trip back to the homeland. A) There was hardly ANY snow. I saw a few flakes which resulted in me shouting "Thank God for this!" after getting off of the plane (yes, I got a lot of strange looks). B) Forgetting half of my luggage (for some reason I pack better when I'm intoxicated) and C) My cell decided right at 11:59 pm on Thursday night to go to cellphone heaven. That resulted in me going and buying a new one which led to the following:

Scene: Walking into TM Store.....
Me: *gritting teeth* "I don't want to be here. I liked my cellphone,
it was good to me....most of the time."*Looking at cell accessories* "Whoever
buys these jewel things needs to be shot."(muttered under my breath)
TM Rep: "Can I help you? I understand you want some jewel
accessories."
Me: *ignoring the smartass* "Yes, I'd like a phone that let's me take calls and make calls."
TM Rep: *blank stare and stiffled laugh* "Ummmm...okay, we've got some
Razors you might like."
Me:"No. Everyone has a damn Razor."
TM Rep: "Well here's this one for a nice price. It has a MP3 player
and takes excellent video...let me show you." *shows video*
Me: "Turn that off. I'll buy it because you seem like a nice guy."
Ten minutes later, I have a new phone. Bad thing though is
that all my numbers couldn't change over to my new phone because either the
guy was stupid or there was that much wrong with the death of my old
phone. I'm going with the first one.

But in true holiday fashion I had more "happy" moments than bad ones...for example:

I got to spend a lot of time with cousins I haven't seen in ages. And when you get 7 20 somethings together for two days, lots of quality trouble can happen (though it will not make this blog). I also got to spend some time with my new nephew and two nieces, who hold some of the families best genes. I'm thinking, we've got us a future Gopher wrestler and two Olympic gymnasts. And one of the greatest moments was.........*drum roll*........I GOT A BOWLING BALL!!!!!!!!

Yes, it was an amazing moment. Of all the presents it is my most cherised one. I don't know why, but it is. It's a pretty pink marbled one with my name on it. It was so much fun to have it fitted just for me today and I'm sure the guy helping me thinks I have a crush on him. In all reality I was gazing at my new ball, not him. But I'll just let him dream (haha).

So yes, the great holiday moments of 2006 are done. I need to now make it through the next two long days of work before the 4 day weekend for the New Year. Let's hope I can make it seeing there is NO ONE left in DC right now. The city is dark and lonely and my phone is barely ringing (okay that's a lie, but when half of your friends are gone it's really dead and boring). Maybe this will give me some time to find a bowling league to join!

I'm a Slug

Do you ever go through a week where you’re just completely bitchy? It doesn’t matter what’s going on - all you feel is disgusting and tired. If so, I now remember what it feels like and it sucks royally.

I’m a lucky girl though because I have around a dozen awesome friends who have been tiredly trying to rid of my passion for bitchiness over the last week (I’m thinking there is now a special place in heaven for them). A few of them tried it by doing drinks…..you’d think I could cure it with alcohol but that was a negative…..it just made it worse. I’m so crabby that I can’t even fathom downing a nice cool gin and tonic.

Another friend tried it by planning our New Years. That started to soften the mood until I remembered that New Year’s is my least favorite holiday on earth. Seriously, it’s just another day that goes into a new calendar year. Woohooo……don’t forget to toot the horn and wear that crazy party hat!!!! *please note sarcasm* I’m sure you’ve guessed it….I don’t bother making any resolutions. I feel that you can do that at anytime/day of the year.

And let’s not forget the wonderful man who made me pecan pie. I’m sure he thought it would help….knowing that he even made it from scratch (note: the pecans were from his home back in AL). Not only did he make pie but offered it with a fine ale during a football game. In normal times I’d be in my glory, but instead I just sat there and booed life. Okay, I booed mostly things such as the organic market (long story), marriage and federal funding. But I’ll hand it to him; he booed right along with me.

You see, having this mood not only makes me feel crabby but like a bad person. I’ll soon be leaving for home over the holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to go home but I’m afraid this crabby side is just gonna stay. And when you get me around family being all damn perky cause it’s the holidays I have this awesome ability to counteract it with my most wicked attitude you’ll ever witness.

I have not clue as to why I’m crabby. I’ve got some of the best friends on earth, a family who is there for me 24/7 and a job that keeps me secure. Not to mention, I have a social life better than that of college. So instead of finding a scapegoat with any relevance I’ll just chalk it up to the weather. I’m sick of people being jolly over the stupid 73 degree weather we have here. NO WHERE IN HELL do they show happy Christmas commercials where there ISN’T snow outside. But noooo…..we LOVE this warm weather. My gosh, we’re NOT in the south so please Mother Nature, do something about it (ahem, drop the temp about 50 degrees). So I’ve got happy peeps in DC and then crabby peeps in MN cause of the warm weather. And yeah, I hate them both. Not the people but the weather and what it’s doing to me. Winter is my best season and it has yet to arrive. Maybe I’m just getting anxious. Regardless……if I don’t get any cold weather I will go crazy. Sleeping with my window open and a fan on at night just like I did back in July just seems so wrong.

So, I’m just sitting here with a list of stuff to do but just too darn crabby to get my tush off the seat and do it. And of course, I’m upset about that. It’s official, I’m a slug who takes long showers, stares at the tv and wears a robe whenever possible. Okay, I’m only home about a few hours of the day to let that happen, but yet, I’ve mastered the ‘slug’ art during those few precious “me” hours.

Alrighty – I’m going to go now and take a nap before I got to bed.

That's a Nice Drill You've Got There.

I will tell you one thing. Spending 3 hours with a dentist at a time will give you enough time to observe a few things. Not that he’s nice or a good conversationalist because you really can’t talk to the man who’s digging around in your mouth. (All I could do to make a point was a thumbs up sign or a grimace to let him know if I was okay or not). The great thing though is that you can check out some physical features during those three blissful (thank you Novocain) hours. For me I could observe three things very well – the color of his eyes (chocolate brown), his hair (full sandy blond hair) and how tight his abdominal muscles are (VERY TONED!....he had to lean into me cause it was a far back tooth).

When I got back to the office I was a little light headed (thanks to all the drugs) so mentioning this to my co-worker seemed like a great idea…..of course she gave me the “are you crazy?” look and said something loud enough for our boss to hear. Of course that brought out his curiosity and he walked in and said “Who’s got nice hair?” I then proceed to tell him about my dentist. Explaining how difficult of a time I had trying to figure out whether he was married or not. Sadly I still don’t know. As soon as I went into detail on how I knew he had well toned abs my boss shook his head and said “Sometimes you give me a heart-attack.”

There is a reason for his comment….you see my boss is a ‘lucky’ man who works with three women who are the ages of 24, 25 and 34. One is married, the other has a long-term boyfriend and then there’s me…the single one. So of course everyone focuses on why I’m single and then figure out if there’s a way to fix that. We do talk about the each others relationships but yet, again, I really don’t have a real one so that is why they like to hone in on me. Of course I tend to shy away from it even though it can be funny at times, such as being set-up with a Canadian during the Stanley Cup. Or my boss trying to tell me where to go for a first date….explaining what the different prices of a meal would mean for payback. He was also kind enough to point out that a CVS was on the way home. If that didn’t turn me red, I don’t know what would have!

So naturally to get them off of my back I tell them of my odd crushes and the latest, of course, being my dentist. Yes, that is an odd crush to have. But I figured he’d be a good guy to marry for several reasons. A) We already know he’s gainfully employed. B) Free dental care (and I NEED that!) and C) If he doesn’t mind kissing me AFTER he’s seen what the inside of my mouth looks like, then he’s got to be a good man.

Sadly, I don’t think me strategy is working. Oh well…..there’s always the UPS guy.

my boys

There’s a show now on TBS called my boys. Just by chance I came across it one night sitting around at home. Let’s just say, wow, it was like looking into a mirror. Not that I look a lot (or at all) like PJ, the main character, but there was a point where I felt as if that show was a total reflection of my life (in most parts). Here you have a girl who hangs out with these five guys. PJ, is basically one of THE guys. She loves baseball and puts sports first. (I'm the girl who cried because she missed her first home wrestling match for the Gophers in three years). She’s not over dressy and would rather spend a night with her buddies drinking beer and watching sports rather than going out for girly things.

I, like PJ, have five pretty close guy friends that I consistently hang-out with. We have our bar, Stub and Herbs (on My Boys it's Crowleys) where they know us all by name and our favorite drinks. We watch and argue over sports and almost all of us agree that baseball is a true religion. Relationships for all of us can be touch and go so more than not you’ll find us back at square one, or should I say, Sterbs. The poker part is the one thing we don’t have going for us….this is probably because none of us are really good at it (that I know of) and we would rather spend (waste) our money on other things…a.k.a beer.

Another commonality I have with PJ is the fact that the dating is difficult. I guess the new guy gets a little turned off when he discovers your five closest friends are of the male origin. Not to mention with my boys......they don't take to new people too well. Another problem with having all male friend is that you can easily forget to look for men when you are always with them.

One of the finer moments that I've had (like PJ) was whenever I would attempt to dress-up, the boys couldn't figure out why and they would make fun of me for doing so. This is probably the reason for my love for the ‘nice’ shirt, jeans and moccasins. For some reason, they find that hard to mock. (okay that was a lie, I have been called Pocahontas by them).

Unfortunately ‘my boys’ are all (‘cept for one) back in the Midwest and I’m in DC. I miss them all terribly. But I have found that they are truly my boys because no matter how little or how much I see them, they still love me….okay, they have weird ways of showing it; such as telling me that I smell (I even got a phone call one time claiming that the Governor of Colorado agreed I smelled), rolling their eyes and sighing when I start buying cosmos and consistently hitting my arm until it bruises. The list could go on forever! But I also know that they really care because they’ve allowed me on guy trips and have been there for me in some of my worst and best times (that list can go on too but who needs to hear the mushy stuff?!).

Yep. Those are My Boys and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

My Life Soundtrack!

I'm a loser who is extremely hungover right now so instead of getting ready for my party I'm talking on the phone with a friend and figuring out time wasting stuff like - "if you're life was a soundtrack this is what you'd hear!" What you had to do was go into your music library, put it on shuffle and then list the songs down the line to the scene. I will admit that mine was VERY....ummmm....embarrassing.

So here's what it is............

Opening Credits: I’m Through – Vic Chestnutt

Waking Up: Never Saw Blue Like That – Shawn Colvin

First Day At School: Her, You and I – The Changes

Falling In Love: You’re Still the One - Orleans

Shower Scene: Cheer for Me – 95 South

Fight Song: Let’s Stay Together – Al Green

Breaking Up: Back Where I Belong – Alison Moyet

Prom: Just Between You and Me – April Wine

Life's OK: See Ya – Atomic Kitten

Mental Breakdown: Deeper – Attica Blues

Driving: Mickey – B*Witched

Sex Scene: When I See You Smile – Bad English

Flashback: Can’t Get Enough of Your Love – Barry White

Getting Back Together: Taxman – The Beatles

Wedding: Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles

Birth of Child: In the Blood – Better Than Ezra

Final Battle: Drive – Bic Runga

Funeral Song: As If – Blaque ft. Joey Fatone, Jr.

End Credits: Winding – Bonnie Somerville

An Etiquette I'll Never Understand

I've been in DC for almost 8 months now. Sometimes it seems just like yesterday other days I feel as if I've been here for years. For the most part I love it between the various people, things to do and of course the politics. But there is something that I wasn't fully prepared for...the etiquette.

You see, there's a certain type of etitquette for everywhere you go. Now when I say etiquette, I'm not talking place settings and when you're suppose to serve to the left or right. I'm talking about what is normally expected of you because you live/work in that area. I caught on pretty fast but it wasn't until today when I realized how crazy some of it is. So here is my list of etiquette 'rules' that I've discovered since moving here.

If you are a career person, not married and live/work in DC you need to follow the following:
1. ALWAYS have a business card on you. Business IS pleasure here.
2. Always stand on the right side of the escalator in the Metro stations.
3. When approaching the opposite sex walking a dog - stop, smile, pet and flirt.
4. Attending at least one happy hour a week is required.
5. Within the first five minutes of meeting someone you must discuss politics and religion.
6. Checking your Blackberry and taking phone calls during dinner is appropriate.
7. When giving directions to people you must always include the closest metro stop.
8. Shake hands first time, hug second time, kiss on cheek and hug from then on (for greeting a friend).
9. A half smile and nod is the equivalent of full eye contact and a hug in MN....so watch it.
10. Be close to your friends and closer to your enemies (i.e. invite EVERYONE to your functions....word gets around if they aren't on the list).
11. Girl - allow the men to buy you drinks, they are offended if you don't.
12. Everyone should own a black winter coat - color is too risky.
13. Boy - always make sure the girl gets home safetly.
14. Business casual is the new t-shirt and jeans.
15. Going to political socials is more important than going to sporting events.

Now, if you know me, you'd know that I disagree with most of these. For instance, I said no to a political event and a happy hour tonight because the Gophers were wrestling Okie Sate. Even though I can't watch it on TV I will sit myself infront of the computer for live updates the entire night. (I'm doing that right now!.....we're currently ahead...*nervous, very nervous*). To me, very few things come before my Golden Gopher Wrestling team and I wasn't about to start letting my guard down.

But then again, I agree with some of the etiquette such as boys watching out for the girl or the escalator thing. Yet, I do miss the days when I can sit at home, wear crappy clothes, crack open a beer and yell at hockey on the TV. Until then...who's up for cocktails in Georgetown?

I asked for a bowling ball....

x.mas is nearing fast. i've already recieved my gift from my roommate - Pampered Chef baby! and i've officially wrapped 1/2 of my gifts (i did them while i was in mn). not to mention that i've now recieved my 6th holiday party invite. it's crazy! just seems like yesterday i was celebrating Thanksgiving...oh wait i WAS!

anyway, as for x.mas. i'm excited cause it will be my first grown-up one where i rock the work parties along with all the other ones. also, it will be my first White House Christmas party shin-dig too. i'm nervous for that one cause i'm forseeing me looking and acting like a fool. we'll just have to wait a week and see. no worries, there will probably be a post on that.

as for my title.....yeah, i asked for a bowling ball for x.mas. not because i'm great at bowling (well, yes i am when it comes to playing it via the Wii) but in all reality i think it would be 'nifty' to have my own bowling ball with my name on it. then maybe i'll go bowling more than the average 2x a year that i currently do.

when i brought the idea up to my mom, she said "what? why? you rarely bowl." i counter-acted her by mentioning that she had only gone kyaking only once befrore she bought her own kyak. funny how that quieted her down and then came with me to check out bowling balls. i think i might luck out and actually get one. again, i'll let you know if i do.

so yeah, i asked for a bolwing ball for Christmas.

I love you Frank.....

Sinatra is where I find any solace lately. I forgot that once the election was done I'd have 100% more friends again. You see, when it got to September I 'lost' a lot of friends so I started to make new ones to fill the gap....well it's done and my social calendar is a tad full. I shouldn't complain but it's true. I actually used the excuse that I had to wash my hair to gain some extra "me time" (it was amazing time....it included me reading and listening to my man, Sinatra).

Anyway, this Saturday just proved to me how crazy it is. In a matter of 24 hours I hungout w/ the Fed Society, celebrated a birthday, watched Big Ten football, talked to 5 friends on the phone, did the West Wing, saw Harriet Miers, semi-helped a friend move, went to dinner and watched a cab hit a parked car, met up w/ co-workers for another birthday party, and then took a drive w/ a friend who I ran into on the street at 2:30 am.

Phew. I'm exhausted just recalling that. I am happy to say that also during that time I was hit on by 8 guys and got made fun of and/or hung-up on by 2 friends.

Here were my top picks from the 24 hr period:

Best pick-up line: "You....now I'm no expert....but you...you have GORGEOUS hair"

Most Hilarious Moment: "Your name is Aweswome" *then he fell off the stool*

Worst Moment: 45 mins to find parking by Dupont

Most Bizarre Moment: Running into PP at 2 am and then having an agrument

Can't Believe I Went There Moment: Flirted w/ a 1 L from Michigan

Shopping.....*argh*

Originally written 11/13/06

**WARNING - GIRLY POST!!!!**

This past weekend was a nice three day one which amounted to me succeeding at two things – cleaning my apt (to the bare bones) and finding a dress for an upcoming wedding. The cleaning was awesome – I was done in 4.5 hours. I literally got to a point where I ran out of stuff to clean. The freezer and linen closets were even clean!

Now dress shopping was a little different. I am a girl – yes. That is very clear, but when it comes to shopping, I’m very much like a man. I walk in, get what I want and leave. Very little time is spent ‘browsing.’ My mother is a window-shopper. I don’t get it. You either like it and buy it; or you don’t. Simple.

But when it comes to clothing, okay more like dresses (for semi to formal occasions)….it does take me a long time. As in, I will probably try on more than 5 dresses. The there are two reasons for this, you need to look “good” in a dress because nothing is worse than spending a boat load of $$ on something that isn’t flattering for an event in which people do care about what you are wearing. Also, a dress is usually for a function where you will possibly meet someone of the opposite sex or should impress the hell out of your date. If he doesn’t think you look good in a dress…then it’s tough luck for you (i.e. the procession is usually from sweats, to jeans, to business casual, to formal) so basically you’re screwed if you can’t pull off the formal look.

It’s hard to believe but it took me a solid 25 dresses and 1.5 hours to find the right dress. I like the dress and got approval from two friends. I haven’t pre-tried it on man yet, but will before the function. (Man approval on 11/15/06). The I want to make sure that it’s worth keeping. I think I could’ve done better but that would have meant me going to another store and trying on more……something that that definitely wasn’t allowed in my allotted shopping time (I time EVERTHING I do in life down to the half hour).

After experiencing those few hours of hell I took care of it w/ a bottle of champagne and then a succession of bars in Dupont and a trip to Alexandria. I woke up the next morning feeling not so faublous but then I discovered (ahem, remembered) that I had a new dress.....so I tried it on, and all was good.

And in case if you were wondering about my accessories - the martini glass is JUST FINE.

Whatever you say.

It's been a rough two weeks for me and anyone else who bears the GOP brand.....but we made it through. A little rough and a lot of sad moments, but no worries, there's always another election. At least it gives me a break from having to defend my party. Now I can sit back and watch the 'others' screw-up. And yes, I'll be sitting back with a nice cool drink in hand.

I was deployed back to my home state to work the GOTV-72 hr. I was thrilled because I still care about home. That is, until they switched my assignment. Less than 24 hours of boarding the plane I found out that I was be deployed to a small town 2.5 hours north of the Cities with 3 other woman. There were many things wrong with this situation. A) I was going NORTH of the Cities....that means closer to Unionville or the uber-conservatives....both of which I'm not. B) No friend of mine lives there. C) They are sending me there with all women....I can barely live with one how will I live 5 days straight w/ three strange ones? And we know they aren't normal becuase they are like me and were crazy enough to take time off work to make phone calls and knock on doors for a mid-term election in a strange state.

After finding out my bad luck I immediately got on the phone and tried to change it. No luck there. So I complained enough to get one of my guy friends to haul his ass up to the northland to help out and keep me mildly sane. We did our volunteer stuff, went crazy and had politics oozing out of our systems by the time Tuesday rolled around.

Our groups phone-banked a solid 7,200 calls and knocked over 500 doors (rough est)

It was a good time and had many nut-case moments including some of the following:

Argument over who has a better college:
AE (from Tennessee) - "Yadeeyada....we're awesome at something that I don't remember her saying"
Me (U of M) - "yeah, well we have science."
*I won*

"Keep up the chipper."
- Man on the phone after hearing my reminder to vote for the GOP

"Go, just go!!!"
- Meg (from Philly) after dropping lit at a house that just bagged a buck and was hanging it in their garage

*dry tone of voice* "He, he. His ego is amazing."
-About Newt Gingerich on FoxNews

"I've never heard someone fake a personality as well as you."
- JR in regards to my VERY chipper phone-banking voice

6 am Wednesday morning......*ring, ring*
Me: "Hey Tyler."
Tyler:"LET'S DRINK BEER!!!!"
Me: "I'm at the airport. Sorry."
Tyler: "You suck"
*click*

****More to come******

In the Bubble

A weekly article by my favorite lobbyist and MN native.

Inside the DC Bubble
By: Steve Kopperud
We in Washington, DC, live in a bubble. We spend a whole lot of time insulated from the real world between Washington and Los Angeles, talking to ourselves, listening to our DC-based pundits, reading our DC-tainted media, and we are always astounded when we get out of Washington that folks "out there" don't think the way we do or care about the things we've convinced ourselves are so important.

I've been on the road this week, spending time with folks who come primarily from midwestern states, and when I listen to them opine on their local or state elections or on the issues that matter to them, the words I hear just don't jive with what I hear in DC.

No partisan position taken here, but this "groundswell" to toss the GOP onto the streets that's become the drumbeat for East Coast and West Coast media isn't resonating with the folks with whom I'm talking. Is there frustration with Washington? You bet. Is there concern about the war in Iraq? No question. Is there a desire to elect a whole lot of new folks? Not so much.

What I hear people talking about is the economy, the explosion of biobased alternative fuels and what that means to crop production and marketing, security -- both financial and physical, and generally their personal quality of life issues.

The people with whom I've been spending most of this week want to see Washington get off the partisan bandwagon and refocus themselves. They blame the Democrats as much as the GOP -- as they should -- for the stalemnate in DC. But there's very much a "better-the-devil-you-know" mindset among these folks.

Is this the best of all possible worlds, politically? No, it's not. Would it better if we could point to victories and we could say, "They're doing their jobs." Yup, it would. But the folks out here in the Heartland are a smart bunch, and they understand the game. They just don't like how the game's being played in DC right now.

Leaders and rank and file of both parties need to wake up. They need to get off the national party bandwagon and get back to paying attention to the folks who will ulimately elect -- or unelect -- them in about two weeks.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Five More Days!

Screw not being political.....

GIS DROP SMART BOMB ON KERRY
HILARIOUS HEROES FIRE BACK OVER DEM AND DUMBER CRACK ABOUT IRAQ

By TODD VENEZIA in N.Y. and IAN BISHOP in Washington

WACKY IN KHAKI:

A group of sharp-witted soldiers gives Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry a Memorable rebuke for his so-called "joke" advice to students to study or else end up "stuck in Iraq." The devastating photo raced around the Internet yesterday after being posted ona Milwaukee talk-radio host's blog.

NOVEMBER 2, 2006 -- WASHINGTON - A group of GIs showed they are smart enough to take on condescending Sen. John Kerry - by deploying a hilariously misspelled sign mocking the failed presidential candidate's comments about their education.

"Halp us Jon Carry - We R stuck hear n Irak," read the sign, which was apparently the brainchild of a group of service members from the Minnesota National Guard.

The picture was first revealed yesterday on the blog Web site of Milwaukee talk radio host Charlie Sykes, who said he got it from a listener who had a buddy in the unit.

The picture soon raced around the Internet, and it got much of the nation chuckling when it went up on Drudge Report later in the day.

Staff Sgt. Erik Holtan, a member of the Minnesota National Guard, says he saw the picture and recognized the insignia as that of his fellow Minnesota guardsmen - and he immediately put it up on his own blog site.

"It's awesome," he told The Post. "The troops over there have to be livid because of what [Kerry] said. I don't know why he would say that."

Holtan, who works at Guard headquarters, said he believes the troops behind the Kerry sign are in Iraq, since all the members of the unit in the shot - the 1/34 Brigade Troops Battalion - have been deployed.

He said he can see a unit insignia on one of the vehicles in the background and those vehicles have also gone to Iraq.

Fox News Channel quoted Army officials saying that the picture looked authentic and appeared to be taken in Iraq.

"We are always amazed at the creativity of our troops," one Army official told Fox.

Without citing sources, ABC News in Washington said the photograph was taken in Talil, several hundred miles south of Baghdad, where members of the unit are located.

By the end of the day, the shot was burning up the Internet - and was the most stinging rebuke to Kerry's knuckleheaded flub.

The Minnesota Guard and the Pentagon said they could not comment on the picture.

Meanwhile, Kerry surrendered yesterday to a barrage of criticism from Republicans and Democrats over his troop-trashing gaffe and apologized "to any service member, family member, or American who was offended.

Kerry's belated mea culpa, issued at 4:24 p.m., came after Democratic candidates in Iowa, Minnesota and Pennsylvania refused to campaign with him - and Republicans made him the centerpiece of their stump speeches.

"As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: My poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to, any troop," Kerry said in the statement.

"I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member, or American who was offended," he added.

Republicans pounced on the miscue by the Democrats' 2004 presidential nominee and thrust the divisive Kerry onto center stage to fire up the party's conservative base.

"You remember John Kerry, the senator who voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it - the guy that was always lecturing us about nuances," Vice President Dick Cheney said to a Montana GOP rally in remarks prepared for delivery.

Added Cheney, "Of course, now Sen. Kerry says he was just making a joke, and he botched it up. I guess we didn't get the nuance. He was for the joke before he was against it" - a reprise of the flip-flopper stigma Republicans tied to Kerry in 2004.

The war of words comes as Republicans and Democrats scramble for the upper hand less than a week before the crucial congressional elections.

Democrats need to pick up 15 seats in the House and six in the Senate to win back control.

Before issuing the statement, Kerry insisted he meant no offense to the troops and was trying to insult President Bush and his Cabinet for failing to do their homework before invading Iraq when he told students in California they'd "get stuck in Iraq" if they didn't study hard.

After the initial criticism Tuesday, Kerry had defiantly defended his remarks, saying he "apologized to no one" and ripping he Bush White House.

Kerry told nationally syndicated radio host Don Imus yesterday morning that he was only "sorry about a botched joke. You think I love botched jokes? I mean, you know, it's pretty stupid."

Imus, echoing may Democratic strategists, begged him: "Please stop it. Stop talking. Go home, get on the bike, go windsurfing, anything. Stop it. You're going to ruin this."

Montana Democratic Senate candidate Jon Tester concurred: "Sen. Kerry's remarks were poorly worded and just plain stupid. He owes our troops and their families an apology."

Before going to ground and issuing his apology on the Internet, Kerry, a Vietnam vet, accused the White House of trying to "distort something completely out of its context" for political gain.

White House press secretary Tony Snow shot back: "Kerry's words were pretty straightforward, and if you listen to the tone of voice in which he said them, it's hard to construe them as a joke. He didn't sound like he was trying to make funnies."

"Do the following words malign the troops? 'You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make the effort to be smart, you can do well, and if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq,'" Snow added.

"Those are the words. That's not the intention. We're sitting here trying to do mind-reading. We're not playing the 'what if' game. Do those words insult the troops? Apparently, troops believe so," he said.

The Republican National Committee cut a Web ad - e-mailed to supporters - that features a video clip of Kerry's original comment.

"John Kerry should apologize. Our soldiers are waiting," the closing caption says.

President Bush, appearing on Rush Limbaugh's national radio show, said, "Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to have the consequences of words, and our troops deserve the full support of people in government."

"We've got incredible people in our military, and they deserve full praise and full support."

********
Only in MN....

After a reporter for the Rochester (Minn.) Post-Bulletin noticed similarities in expression between mayoral candidate Pat Carr and an pseudonymous supporter who posted message after message of praise of Carr on the newspaper's website, Carr admitted that he was the "supporter." Said Carr, "I stand by what I" wrote.

******

No Wait, Only in WV.....

West Virginia State Sen. Randy White decided in October to remain in the race for reelection despite the surfacing of photographs taken two years earlier of White nude except for body paint in a group of similarly decorated men. White said he had had a "personal identification situation."


DON'T FORGET TO VOTE - NOVEMBER 7TH!

SEC + Big 10 = Awesome

What do you get when you put two girls with big hair, big ideas and a passion for football together? A LOT OF FUN.

I literally became friends with SLS during one of those, a friend of a friend of a friend things. We met a week ago through a friend at an outing on the hill. It had been a rough week for the both of us and we found solace in each others stories and love for football (we did our college picks after 10 mins of knowing each other). On the outside we seem extremely opposite – she is a tall blonde from Georgia who loves the SEC. Whereas, I’m the stocky girl with brownish curly frizz who is as open and crass as they can get in the Midwest….not to mention I speak of the Big 10 as if it’s my religion. Even though we are so opposite on the outside, we have a million commonalities. I am working on a southern charm….she’s attempting to be more ‘real’ like the Midwest. Funny how we both like each others demographics yet neither have visited each others homeland.

Now, I was nervous when I had invited her over to bake and watch football with me. I didn’t know how she’d take it. Most of the girls I’ve met here are more into being either very domestic or very wild. Rarely do I find the combo. Also, they have a hard time making themselves at home….something that I loathe. But SLS proved all of that wrong in mere seconds of walking in my door. I told her the agenda and she said she was game – YES! Then I said, would you like to order some food – she said, pizza would be good – YES! I realized I didn’t have anything besides water and milk to drink…. “What would you like to drink?” I ask. “Ummm….I see you have tequila.” – YES! We then proceed to bake our coffee cake, order a pizza and run to the liquor store to buy more tequila. Once back we settle down, watch a little FoxNews as our pre-game, then turned on the MNF and drank our margaritas. I said my home team (Vikings) was playing. She said, “Good, I’ll cheer for them.” – Didn’t I tell you she was awesome?!

After the first quarter she said – “Now what about those caramel apples?!” So we headed to the kitchen. Now this is the fun part. We weren’t just making regular old joe caramel apples….we were making Rocky Road Caramel apples. A few more steps, that made the kitchen into a disaster zone. You see, once you roll the apple in the caramel…you then roll it on a plate that has crushed nuts and mini-marshmallows on it. After that you drizzle chocolate on them. The caramel-ling them was easy…….but when you have two tipsy girls attempting this, you might end up burning your hands (HOT CARAMEL) and getting your hair full of sticky stuff (note: pull your hair back before doing this). But we managed to get all 6 (yes, pathetic little six) done….after 25 mins. The laughing kept us from doing it efficiently. Not to mention I took 10 breaks to sweep the 3x6 ft floor because the nuts were flying everywhere (note: pounding the apple on the nuts doesn’t make them stick any easier).

As a result – we made some kick-ass caramel apples which were very heavy and filled you up after 2 bites. Also, the apple coffee cake was a hit at work (we might have an Iron Chef USDEC sometime soon!). Only bad thing – the Vikes lost…..it was pathetic.

Meme - Yes, I'm pathetic!

I needed to think and not READ.....so I did a meme for a moment of relaxation.

1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?“Hereditary monarchy, like hereditary nobility, was already a medieval innovation. It is true that some barbarian lieutenants had held office by descent rather than deed. But the chieftains had been chosen for merit, and early kings wore crowns only advitan aut cuplam – for life or until removed for fault. " – A World Lit only by Fire by Manchester

2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
The 2005 dairy facts book; the Bible for any statistics on domestic dairy products.

3. What's the last program you watched on TV?
Fox and Friends at 6am today

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
3:10 p.m. …..oohhh….I was close – it is 3:12 p.m.

5. Except the computer, what can you hear right now?
The hum of the printer; it’s really annoying when it runs.

6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
I walked to Harry’s Tap Room for lunch.

7. What are you wearing?
Turtle neck sweater, skirt and flats (a bit of a ‘60’s collegiate look)

8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
Umm…..I dreamt that I was married, well into a career and had 2 kids.

9. When was the last time you laughed?
Really hard? Last night when I watched the movie The Lion in Winter – too many one-liners that just killed me.

10. What's on the walls, in the room you're in right now?
Dairy propaganda.

11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
Not really. Yesterday I felt like I lived downtown NYC with all of the people in the street and the live bands playing literally 200 ft from my bedroom window. It was weird.

And I hungout with a really pregnant woman today....I'm not used to seeing that either.

12. What do you think about this meme?
Eh…kinda lame.

13. What's the last film you saw?
Film? The last movie was My Louisiana Sky, too family-esque by the way.

14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
Pay off my debt and the family farms debt. Buy some land in the U.S. and abroad. Give to the MS Society and some others. Then throw a huge-ass party. And then invest the rest in mutual funds.

15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don't know.
I voted “No” for #1.

16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt, what would it be?
No obesity and no famine (they are one in my eyes)

17. Do you like dancing?
Yes! I need a good partner though.

18. George Bush?
Is a cutie. Shut-up!

19. What do you want your children's names to be, girl/boy?
Boys: Tristan; Clayton; Toby; Taylor; Perry
Girls: Madeline; or whatever comes to me after I’m out of shock because it’s not a boy.
*the ‘other’ person will need to agree w/ me of course.

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes – if I’m married.

21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
You only disappointed me through the years 0f 2001-2008.