Can't Sleep

There are only a few moments that I'll never forget in my life where I can say, "I was there when I heard/found out about this....." You know what I mean? One of those very surreal moments. The kind that even years later will still send a chill up your spine or give you goose bumps.

I had that today. I was sitting in a cab heading down Michigan Ave in Chicago with two Chinese and two Middle Eastern businessmen half-heartedly listening to the Chicago Public Radio Int'l News segment. As I'm tuning it out between thoughts of my 2006 trip to Chicago and hearing about the war I managed to hear in a very British tone: "A bridge in Minneapolis, MN collapsed today during rush hour."

My heart stopped. I strained to hear details but none were given. I turn around and noticed that I was the only one paying attention. Of course, seeing we're in a cab and the radio is barely audible....only would my fine tuned ears would pick-up the word, Minneapolis.

After two more blocks, which felt like hours, I threw money at the cabbie and ushered my guests into the steakhouse claiming that I needed to make a call outside. I frantically pick at my mothers cell number only to recieve disconnected dial tones. Finally I call home and reach my mother who says, "Hi honey, a bridge collapsed I'm on the phone with your grandma, Kelly is okay and so is Bryan. I'll talk to you later." LATER. LATER?! How could she?! I didn't know anything. The nerve! So here I am, at a fancy restaurant and needing to be professional when all I could do was sit there numb...nodding and smiling at lord knows what.

I had enough and whipped out my phone and started to text away. I knew I was being rude but I didn't care. I have friends and family to worry about. They are my life and even though they were at most 8 hours away from me (closer than normal) I felt like it was across the world. Finally my mother calls me back with more details only to leave me yearning to see a television. But I knew better than to leave my guests; really, what could I do?! Nothing. Except to pray...which I did.

I am happy to say that all I know are safe; though that leaves much room for sorrow towards many others. I pray for those families who are mourning and for those who have yet to mourn seeing not everything has been recovered.

So hours later, after a meal with my new friends (who did share their sorrow for the State of Minnesota),a brief conversation with my folks and a drink and shared stories with some DC and MN business people I am alone in my hotel room. A room that has now become my home (the maids know me by my first name and all of my drawers are filled with clothes) and I find myself staring at the images on CNN and feeling homesick. What I would give to be there with my fellow MN friends and family. Instead I am sitting quietly and watcing the same story and images over and over. I could very well turn it off but I can only do that with the TV....I can't in my head.

This is a tragedy for MN. A state thta is very tight and everyone is your neighbor. It's a state that believes in helping people, standing strong and has much pride in its roots. Even though it was "natural" (i.e. not terrorists) it still is a loss and stings. This very bridge I have driven on a million times over, a structure we felt safe to cross everyday no longer exists...leaving a main artery closed. It hurts.

With that, I bid you a good night MN.....I hope daylight brings a better picture.