President of Neighborhood Watch

Just when I think my neighborhood is normal it throws me a new one. It's midnight on a Sunday night and I'm settling in after a somewhat exhausting day. I have my window cracked open because of the gorgeous weather happening. I hear the crickets and smile a little but know that they will keep me awake so I put on my fan to muffle the noise a bit. Less than 10 seconds later I hear this loud accelerating noise. Thinking it was my fan I shut it off. Nope, still there. Then I thought, Hrm... it could be something up with the house. So I start to peek around and see where it's coming from. Again, nothing but the noise stops, so I go back to bed.



"VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

Seriously!?

At this point I'm completely ticked off. It's past midnight and we have people of all ages in our neighborhood, this is beyond appropriate. I run outside and look around. I see Bob and his wife are pattering around in their house (not sure why two retirees are still up?) but they don't peek their heads out and all other houses appear quiet. The sound sounds like it's coming from two houses down but there aren't any lights on and the ambulance is just sitting there quietly.(Yes, they have an ambulance but it gets better, they have TWO and use them for anything BUT saving lives). I'm confused and go back into the house.


"vvvvrrrrroooommmmm......VVVVVRRRRRrrroooommmmm.....VVVVVRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOM!!!"

At this point I grab my coat and throw on some shoes figuring I need to inspect the 'hood or else the cops are going to get call no. 3 from me this year. I walk down to the suspected house only to find out it's a pick-up truck that is in neutral with someone laying on the gas. That someone is passed out. You have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I knock on the window (I'll admit, I was nervous seeing I didn't know how he'd react and I didn't want to be hit or driven over). No response. I knock harder and finally just started to pound. After what felt like eternity he opened the door and mumbled something and shaking his head.

Trying to not shake him I asked, "Sir, can you please keep it down? It's late and you're waking the neighborhood up."

"Hrm??? Oh *slurred grumbles" Yeesh, I'll go int there." And he points to the house.

"Thanks." Ugh.

I turn and walk back to my house. I see one of the new neighbor guys (who lives between me and the questionable figure) out on the porch and obviously annoyed. I wave and yell hi and he just shook his head and said thanks.

I swear. It's finally time I get a sign that says, Neighborhood Watch - PRESIDENT