A Tribute

Since I live so close to Alrington National Cemetary and the Iwo Jima Memorial it only seemed appropriate to take a moment to reflect back on what has made our nation so great - freedom. Unfortunatley freedom isn't free and we must work hard for it. So when you're out there grilling, partying and enjoying your long weekend - remember those who made it possible. Happy Memorial Day.

**pics by me**

I hate the Nats

Today I thought I'd be nice and bring my friend AB to a baseball game. I'm not the biggest fan of the Nationals but seeing that they are the local MLB team here, it's an outdoor stadium and really, and it's still baseball, it shouldn't matter. I was nervous about going this time for two reasons. 1) they very well could lose (I fully believe that they only lose when I actually watch them play) and I HATE losing and 2) AB is not one to 'show' excitement nor does he drink....two things that I'm really good at, so it could end up being a long game.

But I decided, dammit anyhow, it's Memorial Day weekend and you should celebrate it by going to America's Favorite Pastime. So we made it there in one piece, got our tickets, bought the crappy hotdogs (oh how I miss the Dome Dog deal or Coney Dogs at Bullies prior) and sat down to catch the game. Let's just say the first SIX innings sucked. There was a grand total of 1 run and of course it was for the Dodgers. The most exiciting part of the game was when AB left for ice cream and I was alone and dancing during the 7th inning stretch. I was so happy for that moment I tipped the beer boy $2.50 (he about hugged me, poor boy!). After that, with my beer in hand I thought that yelling obscene comments would help cure my headache. Unfortuantely it didn't cure it nor did it help the Nats. We ended up losing 3-1. Fat-ass Matthew "Fatty" LeCroy didn't play....thank God seeing that we sucked enough. Come on it 's not a good sign when you feel like you're watching some sports blooper show instead of a pro-baseball game!

But hey, it's still baseball and oh how I love the game!

Roast and Toast

Me: "Hey, do you have the 'roast' you did for me that one night?"
Molly: "No, I deleted it."
Me: "Whyeeeee? I need it to scrapbook." (and to look at to remind myself that I'm special!)
Molly: "I gave it to you."
Me: "What, the hard copy?"
Molly: "Yeah, the night of your party....at Sterbs."
Me: "Hon, I was plastered."

A few seconds later Molly was able to retrieve it out of Gmail....thank the Lord. So in thanks to her and Liz I'm posting their "Roasts and Toasts."


From Liz:

"There once was a girl named Cass,
We went face to face in a grants class;
I know I'm a writer,
And Cass, she's fighter,
But it turns out that I kicked her ass!"

**Winner** Reasons: First of all, I got pissed off cause I had beatin her in our Tech Presenation Class (which she failed to mention) AND that I did the SAME exact work as she in Grants yet she ended up with a higher grade!

From Molly:

"Because you're leaving,
I've been scheming
To come up with the very best roast.

But lucky for you
I have decided to
Turn this into a toast.

To Cass, our friend
With mile-high hair
Who can pull off Peg Bundy like a pro.

Though she isn't white trash
A Wanker or loves tight pants
Oh wait, did someone say Faribault?

I'll never forget
The day we met
When I thought you were Tony's Elasti-girlfriend.

To learn you were classy,
And hated the name "Cassie"
Made me realize you'd never date that pig pen.

Now, I'm sure you had
A similar reaction
To learn you're friends with a celeb.

Her Butterhead status
Made for quite the discussion
"She's cute, you know, but her head...."

We'll always have purse hooks
Vodka sours and dance floor makeouts
And don't forget that $2 parking.

Dan Craigie and his runts
Kept us entertained for a month
Even though I was the only one who got some.

I kid, of course
We all love Cass
And we're sad to see her go far

But I'm kind of excited
To finally have some peace and quiet
And hear no more snorts or "yah, yah's"

So here's to Cass
May we never forget
The good times we've had since Hol-Lou-wood.

And even though you're leaving
It won't be decieiving
That you're going to DC for the 'fresh-meat.'"

**Runner-up** Reasons: She had hit all of the good points in our relationship, BUT it didn't ROAST me and I teared up instead of getting mad!

Again, thanks girls....I won't forget and now they are posted on here as should be.

Sunday Morning Drunk Dial

Usually I don't like the time difference between here and back home (even though it's WAY better than when I lived in Cali). It can be a real pain-in-the-ass when it comes to drunk dials from friends back home. But seeing that it's nice that they care enough to scream into their phones "Casshhshhs.s. weesh missss ouuuu!" I'll let it pass. Usually I end up getting the drunk calls from them around 3am EST, that I understand. But this morning I recieved a drunk call at approximately 7:15 am EST. I was already awake but refusing to search through what is now, "Black-hole no. 2," to get it. Instead standing 3 feet away from my vibrating/ringing bag all I thought was, "Why the HELL is my mom calling me right now, screw it, let's see if she even leaves a message."

About 40 seconds later.

*Bizzzzzzz* I look at the phone and it states "1 Msg" Of course I had to listen (without looking at who it's from) and this is what I got....verbatim.

**Raspy voice yelling into phone**

"QBaLL, QBALL, QBALL!!!!! Wake the fuck up. (short pause) Sorry I had to cough and sneeze. Wake up! What are you doing? Why are you sleeping? It’s like a quarter after seven in the morning and I’m drunk dialing you at 6:15 midwestern time. Real time.

You need to get up and go and do whatever it is you do there.

(In whispering voice) I don’t know, I don’t know what you do. Really, what do you do? I don't know...(giggle)

I know I had a really close encounter with the power things and the drapes.

(giggle and background noise of an assumed baseball game) I don’t know what I’m talking about!? I don’t know why I’m whispering? It’s not that quiet here. I’m not in a library.

(Back to normal voice level) Unfortunately Zammit is being a prick and thinks he’s passed out and I can’t get back into your old apt to get my shit. I had to drive home at 5:30 all the way and I’m really hungry.

My mind is going blank. I’m drunk.

I had a really fun evening and it started about 4 o clock. Hahahaha.

Oh Betsy misses you very much. Betsy misses you very much. Yeah, she misses you. (pause) Oh yeah. Betsy missed you very much. You should call her or do that Facebook thing. Alright, however I’m not that creepy old man (editing marks were made here). I can still talk to girls way younger than me and it’s SO super fabulous (pause) ex-p-ala-docious!

Argh.

(pause)

I’m hammered.

(longer pause)

Alright, Q-ball. Bye.

(watching paint dry pause)

JR

Out."

**I heard all of that. Laughed for like 2 minutes and then called the drunkard back. He didn't remember anything he'd said. We talked nonsense for a few minutes and then I got ready to go to church....cause I'm a good girl and I don't leave drunk messages....on Sunday mornings that is....**

Standby - Visitor - Happy Birthday

Many people have specific outfits that they wear for certain occasions. First example, my freshman year, there were my four main drinkin shirts. Or the jeans that I had designated for ‘bar-only’ before the smoking ban in Minneapolis. (In all reality, that was an okay thing cause now I don’t have to burn my clothes after I hangout at Sterbs.) We all have those types of clothes and know that they provide us some comfort because of their functionality, lay-ability and the whatnot.

Now, I have the “Save My Ass” outfit. This one is a fool-proof outfit only for the days that I go to work hung-over. I rarely wear it outside of its original purpose because I always want it on stand-by; meaning that at all times it is clean, pressed and hung appropriately in my closet.

Now the reason of why I needed to designate such an outfit came after one rough summer of waking up way too late and way too hung-over to put together an appropriate look for work. Seeing that much of my work is spent with different executives and business owners I need to have a professional look. My summer of “Bardom” didn’t help my much needed sense of fashion and everyday grooming. Oftentimes I’d come into work reeking of bar (hair) and wearing a stained, wrinkled pair of pants. Mind you, my co-workers were impressed that I made it to work at all but still, I think that I might have had a stench coming from my office some of those days. And really, who wants to be known as “that stinky girl” at work? It’s also not a good sign when you go through an entire bottle of Febreeze (which is a Godsend) in one month.

So one day I thought, you know, it’s cool to have those pre-planned outfits that give you a killer look for when you go out at night, why not do the same for work? So I went through my closet contemplating over what would be the best outfit that makes you look the least hung-over. I chose a skirt to prove that I’m still a lady, but made sure it doesn’t wrinkle easily and it’s a darker color so it doesn’t kill the bloodshot eyes when I look at it. The shirt, also dark, has sleeves to cover up any unnecessary bruises that I may have gotten from that night (old roommate story). The colors go well with my glasses. Yes, glasses. I love my contacts, but most of the time I wake up and realize that, “No, God didn’t restore your eyesight, you forgot your damn contacts in again.” Thus, I end up wearing my glasses to give my poor eyes a rest. The best thing about this outfit is that I can wear the best shoes ever. They are comfortable and I can’t tip over in them that well. This is necessary seeing that I have a problem walking the day after. So this outfit is always ready so that gives me plenty of time to pop in the shower to rinse off anything linger smoke smell, throw my hair up and be out the door in less than 10 mins. God bless my incredible preplanning.

Even though I’ve had this going on for awhile I mention it now because today was the first time that I actually got to use it!

Now that I have reinstated drinking again on work nights….I might have to pick out a few more outfits to be on standby.

***
Okay, I was told that I needed to mention him on what he calls my “Your sucky blog.” So Hi Tyler. Thank you so much for being my very first visitor. I enjoyed going to Kitty O’Sheas, Four Courts and Ragtime with you.

***

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JR…have a great one bud.

Winking Eye

I"m writing this cuase it's funny. Or at least i tought so.

Tongiht, i attempted to pour myslef a glass of gin w/ some tonic. not a hard task. but i forgot that i was already 'out of it' and i had my contacts out. therefore, my epercepttion of what was really going on wasn't quite there. therefore, i ended up pouring the entire bottle (it was a smallone) into my glass. not believing in wasting i said, 'oh well' and proceeded. and this is the damn resutl.

Country Roads and Myths

Today capped it all off. After I had spent 3 grueling hours at the Arlington county DMV I decided to take out the map of Virginia for the first time since I’ve arrived and randomly pick a spot. I closed my eyes and let my finger land wherever. It ended up on a little village called Colonial Beach. I decided, “what the hell, I have a headache and I need a break….let’s go.” It was a nice little spot that reminded me of my hometown where all roads either lead to water or a dead end. Everyone knows everyone and there’s that one restaurant located on the water and has the cheesy so-called-live music.

But the whole reason for my road trip was lead on by the following:

The time at the DMV had hit every nerve imaginable and was topped off by my most recent DMV friends….Hans Christian Hemmesch and his wife Katherine. They were a nice Birkenstock couple that obviously voted for the opposite wing; but we became semi-close friends during our 3 hour stint. It started with me borrowing her pen, which lead on to a discussion about democracy and the numbering system at the DMV.

Of course after Hans saw my Minnesota license we started down the road of comparing Minnesota to the entire east. Even though this couple was unique in itself they ended up falling into the same mindless pit of questions that everyone from the east feels is appropriate or funny to those from Minnesota. Apparently the Minnesota ‘race’ is something of a unique culture that these people cannot grasp. They might as well declare the entire state another country for all I care after having to deal with some of the many dumb comments and questions.

So in honor of Hans and Katherine, I’ve decided to share some of these questions and statements that have come my way in the past month. (With, of course, my two cents)

1.“So being from Minnesota, it must be a requirement to listen to Garrison Keillor? That is so cool!” (I said yes sarcastically, only to regret it…seeing I did meet with Garrison two years ago and was on his show.)
2.“How deep is the snow right now?” (Who the hell taught you geography?!?”)
3.“Oh, I knew a girl from Minnesota, I’m not sure where from, but she was 10 hours away from the nearest airport.” (Are you sure she wasn’t from Canada?)
4.“There’s Norwegians in Minnesota, right?” (yeah, I guess, and why’s that applicable to today?)
5.“Isn’t there that mall, what’s it called? Oh yeah, Mall of America, have you ever been there?” (Again people, it’s a mall, when I need to shop, I go to the nearest mall)
6.“Didn’t you have that crazy governor?” (Why can’t we forget that time?)
7.“How many hours was your farm from a town?” (5 minutes dumbass, we’re not in Russia)
8.“We have a lot of mosquitoes out here, have you ever had a mosquito bite?” (No, I just come from a place where we have 15,000 lakes and no mosquitoes.)
9.“Wait till you experience the humidity, seeing you’re from the Midwest, I’m sure you don’t know what it’s like.” (Yeah, summers barley get above 50 degrees.)
10.“That’s funny, you don’t sound like you’re from Fargo.” (That’s because I’m NOT from Fargo and by the way, Fargo is in North Dakota)

There's more, but I need to keep a list....I just might update this when better ones come along. Trust me, there will be more.

Another One Bites the Dust

Me: “Hey, you’ll never guess what? Alyssa is getting married!”
Mom and Dad, “Good for her!”
Me: “Yeah, another one bites the dust.”

This is the basic conversation that I have with my parents every time another engagement is announced or wedding invitation received. You see I, unlike many others my age, don’t want to get married and settle down.

I will admit that marriage was a major topic of my life a few years back, but I realized that A). I wasn’t ready and B). I had the wrong guy. We made the big dive and had a great amount of stuff planned (i.e. rings picked, where the wedding was going to take place, the wedding party, etc.). But I stopped it before the actual engagement. Many of my friends chalked it up to me being scared. He got mad and won’t speak to me anymore. But I don’t care. That is, they can be mad at me all they want. But don’t bash me for stopping a future with divorce written all over it from happening. So now you can say I’m on the other end of things when it comes to marriage.

The only reason why I brought this up is that today I got Wedding Invite #6 for the summer. This is crazy. For the past 3 years I’ve been averaging at least 6 weddings per summer. First of all, how can I know this many people?! And secondly, how can all these friends be ready for something so concrete at this age? I couldn’t and don’t want to be. I still want to move whenever, wherever and be free to do whatever I please. It sounds selfish, but really, it’s not. I just don’t want to get tied down at a young age and then regret that I didn’t do more 20 years down the road. I just hope that these people know what they’re doing. To me getting my car fixed and signing up for my 401(K) is just as far as I want to go for becoming a full-fledged adult.

Cat Named Jake

**Okay, so I really didn't want to do a blog, but hey, if it's requested I guess I'll do it. I'm not trying to copy anyone, just keeping the e-mails shorter these days.**

As of this coming weekend I'll be an official VA resident. Some may look at this poorly cause it's VA, but I look at it as an accomplishment. I have fully packed up my life and moved away from my comfort zone of Minnesota. Give me some time and we'll see how much it really affects me. I figure since it's in the DC area, I'm not too shabby.

The title of this blog basically came from my one new passion, gin. I love gin. Regardless of my mood, there is always room for it in my life. Also, it's a great drink if you're on a diet(just put it with some diet tonic and limes and you can call it an energy drink).

My social life has been put on a stand-still for a tad due to some grown-up responsibilities of a fulltime job. But don't get me wrong, it's a great job. I get to work with tariffs and trading goods with other countries. And for the first time ever I work with people who are my own age. My boss is this crazy man who I swear has ADD but he's great.


And if you want to know what's the deal with my title...you've gotta ask.