Roast and Toast

Me: "Hey, do you have the 'roast' you did for me that one night?"
Molly: "No, I deleted it."
Me: "Whyeeeee? I need it to scrapbook." (and to look at to remind myself that I'm special!)
Molly: "I gave it to you."
Me: "What, the hard copy?"
Molly: "Yeah, the night of your party....at Sterbs."
Me: "Hon, I was plastered."

A few seconds later Molly was able to retrieve it out of Gmail....thank the Lord. So in thanks to her and Liz I'm posting their "Roasts and Toasts."


From Liz:

"There once was a girl named Cass,
We went face to face in a grants class;
I know I'm a writer,
And Cass, she's fighter,
But it turns out that I kicked her ass!"

**Winner** Reasons: First of all, I got pissed off cause I had beatin her in our Tech Presenation Class (which she failed to mention) AND that I did the SAME exact work as she in Grants yet she ended up with a higher grade!

From Molly:

"Because you're leaving,
I've been scheming
To come up with the very best roast.

But lucky for you
I have decided to
Turn this into a toast.

To Cass, our friend
With mile-high hair
Who can pull off Peg Bundy like a pro.

Though she isn't white trash
A Wanker or loves tight pants
Oh wait, did someone say Faribault?

I'll never forget
The day we met
When I thought you were Tony's Elasti-girlfriend.

To learn you were classy,
And hated the name "Cassie"
Made me realize you'd never date that pig pen.

Now, I'm sure you had
A similar reaction
To learn you're friends with a celeb.

Her Butterhead status
Made for quite the discussion
"She's cute, you know, but her head...."

We'll always have purse hooks
Vodka sours and dance floor makeouts
And don't forget that $2 parking.

Dan Craigie and his runts
Kept us entertained for a month
Even though I was the only one who got some.

I kid, of course
We all love Cass
And we're sad to see her go far

But I'm kind of excited
To finally have some peace and quiet
And hear no more snorts or "yah, yah's"

So here's to Cass
May we never forget
The good times we've had since Hol-Lou-wood.

And even though you're leaving
It won't be decieiving
That you're going to DC for the 'fresh-meat.'"

**Runner-up** Reasons: She had hit all of the good points in our relationship, BUT it didn't ROAST me and I teared up instead of getting mad!

Again, thanks girls....I won't forget and now they are posted on here as should be.