Sunday Morning Drunk Dial

Usually I don't like the time difference between here and back home (even though it's WAY better than when I lived in Cali). It can be a real pain-in-the-ass when it comes to drunk dials from friends back home. But seeing that it's nice that they care enough to scream into their phones "Casshhshhs.s. weesh missss ouuuu!" I'll let it pass. Usually I end up getting the drunk calls from them around 3am EST, that I understand. But this morning I recieved a drunk call at approximately 7:15 am EST. I was already awake but refusing to search through what is now, "Black-hole no. 2," to get it. Instead standing 3 feet away from my vibrating/ringing bag all I thought was, "Why the HELL is my mom calling me right now, screw it, let's see if she even leaves a message."

About 40 seconds later.

*Bizzzzzzz* I look at the phone and it states "1 Msg" Of course I had to listen (without looking at who it's from) and this is what I got....verbatim.

**Raspy voice yelling into phone**

"QBaLL, QBALL, QBALL!!!!! Wake the fuck up. (short pause) Sorry I had to cough and sneeze. Wake up! What are you doing? Why are you sleeping? It’s like a quarter after seven in the morning and I’m drunk dialing you at 6:15 midwestern time. Real time.

You need to get up and go and do whatever it is you do there.

(In whispering voice) I don’t know, I don’t know what you do. Really, what do you do? I don't know...(giggle)

I know I had a really close encounter with the power things and the drapes.

(giggle and background noise of an assumed baseball game) I don’t know what I’m talking about!? I don’t know why I’m whispering? It’s not that quiet here. I’m not in a library.

(Back to normal voice level) Unfortunately Zammit is being a prick and thinks he’s passed out and I can’t get back into your old apt to get my shit. I had to drive home at 5:30 all the way and I’m really hungry.

My mind is going blank. I’m drunk.

I had a really fun evening and it started about 4 o clock. Hahahaha.

Oh Betsy misses you very much. Betsy misses you very much. Yeah, she misses you. (pause) Oh yeah. Betsy missed you very much. You should call her or do that Facebook thing. Alright, however I’m not that creepy old man (editing marks were made here). I can still talk to girls way younger than me and it’s SO super fabulous (pause) ex-p-ala-docious!

Argh.

(pause)

I’m hammered.

(longer pause)

Alright, Q-ball. Bye.

(watching paint dry pause)

JR

Out."

**I heard all of that. Laughed for like 2 minutes and then called the drunkard back. He didn't remember anything he'd said. We talked nonsense for a few minutes and then I got ready to go to church....cause I'm a good girl and I don't leave drunk messages....on Sunday mornings that is....**