This One's for You Cus

Vacation was in order. No staying in the beltway this past weekend. Between the scandal and the never-ending “n” word and macaca debates with the VA Senate race I had needed to leave. Plus, I had another good reason (besides seeing family and friends and going to a Gopher football game)…it’s thriftier to go out in Minneapolis. I also found it amusing that it’s cheaper to get trashed on Sun Country airlines than it is in DC. I didn’t do it, but I did the math and was astonished. Go Sun Country.

As I had said, I’m tired of some of the political crap taking place out there so going to MN was a good excuse. It was much unexpected and a last minute decision based solely for pleasure. I had nothing in mind except to hangout and surprise the family. And that I was able to accomplish. I spent so much quality time with the family that I finally figured out why the hell I am the way I am.

We seem like a normal family at first glance but then you take a second look and then proceed to shaking of the head. Now I’m convinced that most families are just as odd but then there is that one moment when my family will outshine any other in the ‘eccentric’ round. This time was our October Birthday party. Since there are so many of us cousins (21 to be exact) we clump together the birthdays…..only one cousin gets to celebrate their b-day alone and of course that is me. But that is beside the point. Anyway, so I made it home for the October birthday party which in turn turned out to be more like an Oktoberfest for the family. It was freezing and 3 days away from MN’s first predicted snowfall….and it was to rain, but did we care? No. Instead we got extra blankets and booze to keep us warm as we all piled onto the wagon behind the old school Massey tractor for a family hayride. (We’re talking a wagon loaded down with over 45 people between the ages of 5-79).

My uncle driving the tractor was clad in old H.S. jacket, a hood and smoking a cigar like it was going out of style. He of course didn’t hear our yells as we kept getting whacked by tree limbs. There was a point when I thought we were going to lose the youngest to a small sapling, but my brother saved him just in time. To top it all off, it then started to rain heavily. Our only way of solving our dilemma was not by turning around and heading to shelter, no, it was by taking out the bottle of schnapps and declaring it was to be finished before getting back to the house (1.5 miles away). That was when the team effort kicked in. We’re a solid 50 feet from the house when we see that there was a few ounces left; I, of all people, suggest that Grandma should finish it off. I meant it kind of as a joke, but grandma didn’t hesitate. With our cheers she took one for the team. That was when I realized that I can now officially blame my genetics for the craziness that I exert.

This might explain why out of the all of the cousins that are 21 or older – ONLY ONE is married and has kids. (note: that family was not present for this day)

I don’t understand us. We’re above average students and none of us have ever gotten into trouble. But yet we seem to have a difficult time in graduating college in that little 4 year period. (I’m lying….only 5 of us seem to have had that problem) We also have a hard time settling down. The majority of us get into a serious relationship and then dump it soon after. It’s a fulltime job keeping up with who’s dating and who’s single. I just guess now. If a girlfriend/boyfriend shows up, we don’t latch on too fast because more than likely that person will not make it to the next shin-dig (which will take place only a few weeks later).

I’m actually happy that my entire family is like this. It makes me feel and look normal….we value success in jobs and schooling more than things like relationships and kids. Also, they don’t expect me to come to functions all prim and proper (okay sometimes we’re a snobby wine and cheese family but even then our problems start to shine through).

I love my cousins for all that they are, even with all of the stupid stuff that has gone down over the years. Surprisingly – we are all on a similar track and enjoy hanging out more now than we did when we were in diapers.